I remembered the stale air that filled our house. From the last few weeks when he absolutely didn't want to eat or talk till the last few days when nothing was heard from him till after he passed away, the house had this strange stale air which stayed around till ... we moved back in 1995. I could not remember the reason why mom and i moved to Granma's. But Granma took care of us, i grew up there, found happiness there and slowly recovered. For some reason, the energy in our house was back. It was filled with the teenage laughter and happiness built by friends.
Death is a scarry and painful process. Why do we have to go through it?
I hate to talk about this but i ask questions like how does a person deal with death? How is the process like? What is in a person mind when he is going through death? Is it scarry? Is it worrying?
How did i deal with it? How did i deal with my dad going through cancer? How did i deal with it from the first day it was diagnosed till the day he left on the 17th November 1990?
All these years, everthing had become very cloudy to me.
And of course, now, its all coming back.